I had been thinking about it for a while but my life was entirely intertwined and now that it’s not…
I kinda of think Solo Poly is the healthiest course of action for me moving forward, I want to love and be loved in all shapes and forms with multiple people however life throws it at me.
But I want to completely retain my independence and my own living space.
I’m such a little cry baby, like why do I feel like this;
It’s not like it was ever on the table and I respect it entirely but knowing that she’s not only beautiful, but it can never be and will never be more than physical… it hurts.
But I respect it, it was never to be anything else… I’m the one who fucking decided to have emotions about it.
She’s open and she honest, and yeah she’s busy, and you know the fact of the matter is, I knew getting into this that we would only ever be fucking, but I’m the idiot one here, I’m the one who was like “fuck she’s also just amazing”
I need to stick to Fictional Character’s or something.
I know she’s not obliged too, and I know I’m overreacting, and I know I’m just some girl she met online…
Maybe it’s just hormones, but getting left on read actually makes me so sad…
I hate being like this, she’s probably just busy, and it doesn’t matter in the slightest, but ugh she’s all I can think about most of the time.
I should just stop.
Autistic - LVL30 - She/Her Tech Hobbyist - Video Game Enthusiast Aspiring Game Dev. Former Competitive MMORPG Player Blogger @ https://spork.gg
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